Dry Dock: Reframing the Breakup

 This is my divorce apartment. (See the video. Below is a bare summary.)
Technically, I wasn’t married this time. But it ended like a divorce. Ten years — suddenly gone.

Right now, I’m surrounded by boxes.
Not just moving boxes.
Thought-boxes. Story-boxes.
All the things I used to believe — about her, about me, about what we were building.

My sailboat is in dry dock.

Hauled out. Out of commission.
Not because it’s wrecked — but because it needs care.

• New standing rigging.

• A scrubbed hull.

• The through-hulls resealed.

Just… maintenance.
And that’s exactly where I am, too.

That might be where you are, if you’re reading this.

You’re not shipwrecked. You’re in dry dock.

What’s really causing the pain?

It’s not just the breakup.
It’s what your mind is doing with it.

“She was my one shot.”
“If I’d been better, she’d still be here.”
“I’ll never find someone again.”

Thoughts such as these may feel like facts right now.
But they’re not.
They’re optional beliefs — ones you don’t have to carry. 

This is where relief begins.

When you start to calmly ask:

“Is that true?”
“Is this story useful — or just familiar?”

…you create space.
You stop fighting reality and start finding your footing.

I’ve been here. Twice.

Once after a 20-year marriage.
Once after a 10-year relationship.

And here’s what I’ve learned:

When you stop calling what happened a failure,
and start calling it information,
your body stops attacking itself.
Your energy begins to come back. The pain begins to fade.

So take this to heart:

You’re not doomed.
You’re not unlovable.
You’re not too late.
You’re not falling apart.

You’re just in dry dock.

Take the time.
Check your thinking.
Strip off what no longer fits.
Rebuild with truth.

You’re not finished.

You’re being readied.

My 1981 Cape Dory 30C, on the hard today for the first time for me, ready for a refit.